Obituary of Donald Malcolm Falkenberg

Don Falkenberg
June 30, 1947 – October 3, 2025
Age 78

It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of Don Falkenberg of Stettler, Alberta on October 3, 2025, at the age of 78 years.

Don was born in Stettler on June 30, 1947, to Mel (Jiggs) and May Falkenberg. He was one of five children.

He is survived by his siblings: Geraldine Dennis, Bob (Barb) Falkenberg, Doug Falkenberg (Debra Bain), and Bev (Dale) Anderson. Don was predeceased by his brother-in-law Norm Dennis.

Don is lovingly remembered by his wife Bev, and their children: Codey (Traci), Kyle (Lisa), Becky (Michael), and Jordan (Justin). He also leaves behind grandchildren Kyla and Caitlyn, along with numerous nieces, nephews, extended family, and friends.

Born and raised in Stettler, Don spent his life deeply rooted in the community he loved. He was a lifelong Montreal Canadiens fan and had a passion for all sports, whether it be as a player, spectator, or coach. In his younger years, he played hockey with the Golden Bears at the University of Alberta, an experience that remained a point of pride throughout his life.

Don dedicated more than 40 years to teaching in Stettler, working at the elementary, junior high, and high school levels. He was instrumental in developing the school’s hockey academy, inspiring generations of students both in the classroom and on the ice. His passion for hockey extended beyond his students and included his siblings and family, many of whom shared the same love for the game.

In retirement, Don found joy in being part of the dayhome that his daughter Becky operates from the family home. He loved reading books to the children, teaching them to skate, and helping them with crafts. Don had many hobbies to keep him busy. He loved golf, enjoyed time in his makeshift music studio playing guitar, and working in the garage on a home renovation project. Whether on the golf course, in the studio, or with a hammer in hand, Don found joy in staying active and creative.

Don had a gift for words. He was known for many expressions — some humorous, others profound — that family and friends affectionately called Donisms. These sayings often arrived at just the right moment, providing either a spark of laughter or a guiding light of wisdom when it was needed most.

A selection of his Donisms include:

• “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got.”
• “Colder than a polar bear’s lunch box.”
• “You wouldn’t care what people thought about you if you realized how little they did.”
• “Sharp as a grape.”
• “Don’t eat that, Henry, that is horseshit.”
• “If you just worried about you, you would be busy all the time.”
• “Show me someone not tapping their feet to this music and I’ll show you someone with wooden ankles.”
• “Use your head for something other than a hat rack.”
• “Not a ghost chance in hell.”
• “Does King Kong like big bananas?”
• “As useful as pockets in underwear.”
• “Don’t be sorry, just quit doing it.”
• “What goes around comes around.”
• “I think you have been drinking your own bathwater.”
• “You are not the boss, you are just bossy.”
• “It isn’t over until the fat lady sings, but she is warming up.”

These phrases live on in our family, guiding us with laughter and light. The fat lady had been warming up for quite a while and finally did take the stage, but his humor, wisdom, and coaching lessons — especially about never quitting until the final whistle — will not be forgotten.

At Don’s Request There Will Be No Funeral

For those who wish, memorial donations may be made to something you find worthy — as long as it doesn’t support the Oilers in any way.