Susan posted a symbolic gesture
Monday, May 23, 2022
//s3.amazonaws.com/skins.funeraltechweb.com/tribute-gestures/v2/yoga.png
Hi, aunty I want you to know I'm missing you so. I'm really struggling with mom and have no one to talk to about it. You always understood and had good advice for me. I pray we can somehow strengthen our bond as I feel so alone in this fight of my life. Everything is such a mess but 1day at a time I'm putting the pieces back together again. I'm trying to break the cycle of abuse in our family as it runs so deep. I'm so emotionally fucked up and insecure it's not funny but you would be happy to know I broke my cocaine so called habit. It was easy just had to break the routine as for all the things I've been addicted too. All in timing. I can take it or leave it. You see I know me and my body and everything happens for a reason. Good bad or indifferent. I've been down and been through about as much as I can handle. Considering I always stand alone. Don't get me wrong mom has always been there for me but not ever in a loving care come here I just want to squish you sort of way. You know mom. I get told to fuck off alot and asked how stupid I am. That's just her way of loving us. She got that from your dad. I'm really tired of the negativity and really feeling the need for comfort as I have no real close friends or family. Well I do but I don't. No one really knows me or knows how I think or how I feel. No takes the time and no one really keeps in touch with me. Not on the daily anyways. I could go missing and not to many would really notice except for the one's I keep in touch with. Makes me feel sad because I am worthy. I'm one of the best friends you could ever have. Wish I could find someone with those kinds of traits someone who will love me unconditionally. I know my life looks a mess right now but I know it's really not that bad just really inconvenient and I hate being broke not being able to do what I want. I see other relationships and I want that. I long for someone to fulfill some of my emotional needs. I think I'm doing pretty good considering. You know what I mean aunty. Lol our unemotional family. Well mine anyways. It's know wonder I yell and get frustrated. Now look I walk and talk to God my higher power and my angles and I'm told I'm bipolar schytzofrinic. Like WTF I can't win for losing. What can I say? I'm fucking guided that is all I know. I know I will never give up on mine or my son's life because my son means the world to me. Aunty please help guide me through my next challenges I face as I do not have the words to be able to express what the fuck is happening or what I'm apart of. I just hope I don't get locked up and or go missing as I am learning so much and lots of it is not good about this world and our police government medical and the list goes on. I'm just thankful I'm as strong as I am to be able to take all of this and still stand tall. I'm pretty proud of me even though I really have nothing to show for it. I'm a fucking champ lol in this game we call life. I pray all my hard work comes back to me 10 fold and I pray my mom softens up with us because as we get older it gets harder to take. I pray my son opens his eyes to see how much love I have for him and how much potential he has in himself. He needs to break his own cycle habit persay and follow his dreams as he wants a very expensive car and I say that because I can't spell it. Well aunty these are my memories with you. Someone I can trust and talk to. Love you lots and miss you. I can see your beautiful face and hear your voice. I love you. I'm crying but I'm good aunty they are just tears and a runny nose I'll be fine. Lol fucked up insecure and emotional. Have a wonderful day.thanks for listening
